There are many sayings about the company we keep. My favorite is “be sure to know who is in your boat, are they rowing with you or drilling holes while you’re not watching?”.  I’m here to ask you today: who’s in your boat?  I’ve found that oftentimes as women and mothers, we choose to make a lot of sacrifices. Usually, at the expense of our own well-being. We all have that friend who leaves us with less energy than we had going in, or that family member who has to point out the negative in everything. Maybe you know someone who you feel as though you are in competition with. Whatever the feeling, and whoever the person is, they are robbing you of joy.

I’m here today to tell you that it’s okay to choose who you want to be around. It’s okay to choose to not be around any of those people I mentioned above. I’ve recently realized that when you’re doing great things, not everyone will be your biggest fan. AND THAT’S OKAY. We all have own life experiences and goals. Ladies, I’m not even talking about huge goals here – maybe it’s the goal of going for a walk today. Maybe it’s the goal of NOT having wine with dinner tonight.  My point is, whatever your goal, choose to surround yourself with people who support that goal.

Here’s the thing:  they may not even know they are supporting your goal. They may just be a natural support system by way of WHO they are.  That friend who is happy. Who is positive. Who has a genuine interest in your friendship. When it comes to protecting your mindset, it’s okay to be selfish! Let me say that one more time:  IT’S OKAY TO BE SELFISH.  It’s imperative that you choose who to surround yourself with.  They say you are most like the 5 people you hang around the most (whoever they are).

Two months ago, I quit my full-time demanding career. This was a crazy HUGE scary decision. (more on that later). When I started to think about leaving my career, I was VERY selective in who I discussed the decision with. I purposely chose to surround myself with women who saw my bigger purpose. These women sent me quotes, and voice texts and books to read. These women cried with me and prayed with me. These women who supported my decision and breathed belief into me.  Women who would tell me “you’re crazy! And it’s going to be great!” And you know what? Two months later, it IS great and I WAS crazy and those women are STILL the women I talk to everyday.

So, let me ask you again, who’s in your boat? Are they rowing with you or drilling holes? Take a moment and write down the 5 individuals you are closest to on a daily basis. If you’re like me, one glance at the names and you will know who is draining your energy and who is feeding your energy.  Choose wisely. Choose Joy. If you need someone else to sit beside you and row with you for awhile – I’m here. One of the best things we can do for each other is to take that positive influence and pass it on.

Melissa Knott

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