I’m Sorry

I was driving with my daughters the other day, and my six-year-old was telling us a story about her best friend on the playground.  During the explanation of not playing together during first recess, she quickly said “but told him I was sorry and then he would play with me”. WHOA.  I took a deep breath and asked what she had done that warranted the apology. “Nothing” she answered, “I just wanted to play with him and it was a way to start the conversation. He said it’s okay and then I could play with him.”  NO, NO, NO!

My teenager and I looked at each other and started to talk at once. A great discussion ensued about other ways to start a conversation, other approaches to a friend who isn’t playing with you, other options than apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong.  This conversation laid heavy on my heart and I went to bed that night thinking about how often we apologize for nothing. In fact, it often comes out of our mouths so quickly, that we don’t even realize we are saying it. Drop your pen? “Oops, sorry”. Bump into someone “oops sorry”. Someone interrupts you? “Sorry.”  The words “I’m sorry” are spoken so often, they have almost lost their meaning. We say “I’m sorry” even when we’ve done nothing wrong.

When we’ve done nothing wrong… How many times during the day do we feel the need to apologize? How many times does that apology morph from being sorry for our actions to being sorry for who we are?  “I’m sorry, I’m hungry though.”  “I’m sorry, I don’t want to go for that walk.” “I’m sorry, I don’t like crowds.” “I’m sorry, I want to go home.”  I want to remind you that we don’t have to be sorry because we’re hungry or tired or don’t want to participate in an activity.  There’s a saying that “No.” is an entire sentence. You don’t need to say you’re sorry. You don’t need to give an explanation. Just “No.” is enough.

This conversation with my daughters brought this topic to the forefront of my mind. I now call them out when they say, “I’m sorry.” We have meaningful discussions about when we need to apologize (after hurting someone’s feelings, for example). I’m hoping it has changed how we communicate, how we show remorse, but most of all; I’m hoping it affects how my daughters view themselves and their value – and that they stop apologizing for being who they are and when they’ve done nothing wrong.

-Mel

SEASONS

Hey mama’s – guess what? I ate popcorn for dinner tonight. My kids are gone every Thursday and every other weekend. When I was newly divorced, I used this time as free time – my friends were all amazingly supportive and kept me busy. We had happy hours, and movie nights, and wine tasting and good old-fashioned cry-fests.

Now, three years into single mom-ing and I’m still single. And now I work from home. There are days when I only leave my house to walk my dog. There are days I make a beautiful salad or fry up some taco shells to eat by myself while binge watching Netflix. Tonight, I made popcorn. I was even fancy and threw some hot tamales in it.  My friends and I now entertain ourselves by speed texting inappropriate memes from our own couches in our housepants instead of getting dressed up to go out.

My point, ladies, is that life changes. Seasons change. And it is important to give yourself grace during all of this. And it’s just as ok to go out and have cheese sticks and a beer (or two or three) as it is to stay in and have popcorn and wine for dinner. Life is all about balance. It’s all about making the tough decisions, day in and day out. And sometimes, it’s okay to not want to make any more decisions – and break out the popcorn. Or cereal. Or apple and peanut butter.  (and yes, mom – I do get my veggies in most of the time too).

Women – we have so much happening. We are busy, bad ass, company running, taxi driving, meal planning, bill paying, party planning, volunteering, parenting, grandparenting, hardworking, amazing women who work tirelessly to get things done. But when our season of life begins to shift and look different, I’m here to remind you to embrace it. Sit in the new season and give yourself grace. And hell, eat popcorn for dinner. I’ll be right there next to you and will maybe even throw some of my hot tamales in your bowl too (you should try it, it really is delicious).  Because that’s what we, as strong women, should be doing. Accepting each other, no matter what season of life we are in.  We need to spend these days lifting each other up and helping each other as we can.

My friends were my lifeline for a good year of a very difficult time. There were many nights that my dinner was popcorn and wine – hold the popcorn. And these special ladies sat with me. They wiped my tears, made me laugh, and refilled my glass more times than I can count. Ladies, I hope you have friends like this too.  The seasons of our lives do change, and maybe so do our friendships, but I try to remind myself of what those friends meant to me during that time. And maybe, just maybe I can be that friend to someone else who needs me.

And that my friends, is why Callie and I created Illuminate Women’s Conference. We recognize the need for women to build a larger tribe. We recognize that as the seasons of our lives shift we need our tribe to grow too. That we all deserve to be lifted, empowered, motivated, and the opportunity to grow. And we want to provide that opportunity for YOU. The amazing women of our valley. Join us on Saturday, October 20th for a day that is sure to be life changing. Bring your girlfriends, I’ll bring the popcorn.

2018 Illuminate Women’s Conference

2018 Illuminate Women’s Conference

More information to come soon, make sure to visit again soon!

 

 

 

IT’S HERE, registration to the Illuminate Women’s Conference is now OPEN!

Did you know that we have two different registration options, General Registration and the VIP EXPERIENCE?

General Admission gets you into the conference on 10/20/18, with breakfast and lunch refreshments, breakout sessions and keynote speakers. You also have access to the “Taking Care of Me” spa and the great music from DJ Manny. Of course, all attendees also get access to the Exhibitor Boutique, local vendors that are owned by and/or offer products/services for women.

The VIP EXPERIENCE includes all the General Admission items, plus a whole lot more! A special VIP Only Event on Friday, October 19, 2018 where you will be able to meet some of our wonderful speakers and sponsors. Also, a swag bag the day of the event, and other great VIP perks. There are ONLY 50 VIP EXPERIENCE registration spots available, get one before they run out!

Click HERE to register!

 

WHO LIKES TO DANCE!

This is not your normal conference, and intended it that way.  We are excited to announce we have secured a DJ, yes you read that right, a DJ!

DJ Manny with Down Town Manny’s will be joining us to wake us up, get us moving and keep us going throughout the day.  Our goal is to have so much energy going during this conference you won’t be able to stay in your seat.

So, who likes to dance?

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IT’S OFFICIAL!

This Women’s Conference is a project a long time in the making, for both us and the Wenatchee Valley.  We officially launched the Facebook and Instagram pages in late April, and announced the news via live video on May 1st…the response has been astounding. We are confirmed with the Wenacthee Convention Center…so it really is officical! We look forward to seeing you all on October 19 & 20, 2018 right here in Wenatchee WA.

Copy of IlluminateWomen's Conference